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#FearlessFriday, June 24, 2016

#FearlessFriday is a weekly blog is written by a fellow Body Business member that will share her experiences as a member of our community.

So here’s the thing – at the end of each week, I take a few minutes to evaluate my Pit and Peak of the week or, as my husband says, “You mean Peaks and Valleys?”. I guess it’s just semantics but I’ve always thought that Pits and Peaks is a more accurate description for an average week for me. It sounds much more dramatic.

Working To Live

I have worked full time for nearly my entire life. I am a work overachiever and well… I like to work. At least that is what I tell myself, and what I tell other people. I think that I like to work because that is all I know. From the start of my career I would work hard to deliver stellar work, and strive to be a good employee, teammate and leader. I was making everyone happy. Everyone but me. Everything in my life has, and still, seems to come second after work commitments. I am focused on trying to make everyone else happy. Again, it’s a process.

My work accomplishments had/have become how I defined my own personal success.

  • Delivered a project on time – I’m great!
  • Promotion and a raise – wow, I am crushing it!
  • 1000 more projects due tomorrow as a reward for good work – I am incredible!
  • And the list goes on

It Turns Out That Work Isn’t a Hobby

Once in a television interview, after a reporter peppered me with work questions. I answered each one and felt great talking about all of the fine work and achievements. The reporter then asked me, “Wow, it sounds like you are really busy. What do you do for fun?”. I was stumped. I couldn’t answer the question.

The PR Director for my firm stopped the interview, pulled me aside, and asked me what was wrong. I told him that I don’t do anything for fun, I just work. He said to me “You know that she is asking about what do you do when you are not working, right?”. I understood the question, I just didn’t have an answer. I just work. I finished the interview talking about traveling, riding bikes, drinking wine. That seemed to answer the question, but it was all lies. I didn’t DO any of those things. That moment was a wake-up call that I didn’t answer 10 years ago. So now I am trying. Again.

Time To Get #Fearless

Thinking about a life not focused on work makes me feel undefined, full of fear. So it was time to get #Fearless. I can’t not do anything 100%. In my head, I can complete amazing physical feats – but no one has told my unexercised body that. So my head and I, and reluctantly my body, have joined the most challenging physical feat I could find.

I have gone out and found myself a hobby, a new group of friends, and we are all part of a club. I am officially a participating member of a TRIBE. TRIBE Fit to be exact. There is no office water cooler, no spreadsheets, no conference calls, and nowhere to hide. And unlike work, the only performance review comes in the form of challenging yourself. It’s just pure, raw, physical training that challenges everything you thought you knew about exercise and yourself.

TRIBE Pride

My TRIBE is incredible. They are all strong, driven people – teammates that get up at the crack of dawn to do this. It’s not for their boss, a promotion or a raise. They do it for themselves and for their families. They push themselves further than they even know they could reach every session. Our TRIBE Trainer is so encouraging, explaining and demonstrating every exercise. During the workout our trainer circulates around keeping our TRIBE, keeping us on point and motivated and reminding us that we can do anything.

In my head, I am still kind of like “fringe” TRIBE, as I am still getting comfortable in the face of wanting to tap out each session. I placed myself on the outside edge of the room but admire my TRIBE members from my spot. Walking in each morning makes me part excited and part frightened. It’s awesome. It’s not work. I show up every session and gut it out for me, and for my TRIBE.

I am by far the least athletic person in the group, I fall behind, fall down, get discouraged, get mad at myself and have been known to spend time during the training trying to figure out a stealthy escape. But I can’t. Not because they physically lock you in and you can’t leave, but because I love it. When you are part of a TRIBE, you can’t let the rest of the group or yourself down.

So, I stay and I push myself until the end of each session. It’s like a painful euphoria of achievement, like an earned badge. When I walk out I can’t wait for the next time we meet to earn the next one.

My New Peak and Pit

Which brings me back to my Peak and Pit of the week. And the answer to both is TRIBE. Specifically, a single moment in TRIBE. At the end of the first session this week, I pushed harder than I ever had at anything, I wanted to do EVERY rep of every exercise. I smelled awful, I felt worked. I pushed my limit and broke. I mean, I laid of the floor, tears welling up in my eyes as I looked up at the ceiling lights and I thought – I can’t do this, I am not strong enough.

And just as I hit rock bottom our TRIBE Trainer came over, knelt down on the floor next to me, recognized me in my Pit, looked me in the eyes and told me I can do anything, that I should be proud and that I am doing it. And with that motivation, all of the sudden my Peak appeared, I felt like a champ. I showed up for the next session ready to participate like a champ with the support of my TRIBE.

TRIBE – it’s now my highest high and the lowest low. My Peak and my Pit – I hope it is each and every week for the remainder of the session. I couldn’t live without out and if I can do it, everyone can. Look at me now – for the first time, the Peak and Pit aren’t work related. This week, I can barely lift my arms, who am I kidding, I can barely lift anything but I am showing up – a little less #FEARLESS.

It’s a process.

See you next week. #FearlessFriday

p.s. Did you know Body Business is on Spotify? Look for the BodyBusinessAustin user account? You can check out my #FearlessFriday playlist (more playlists coming soon) and this week’s featured jam, The Champ by Nelly: